9:06 AM 9/11/2007
I understand that it is difficult to acknowledge the presence of some one in you progeny's life. It is harder to accept that this new person knows more about the daily routine than you do, i understand or atleat comprehend the gist if not in totality...but still i find it odd and kinda accusing when she asks what time he left the office, if i say that he had called at 5 and he left the office at 5 she asks whether he has still reached home or not.. i feel it accusing...may be she is trying to find something to discuss about, may be she is still getting to terms that I am more updated by him about him, may be she feels bad about it and tries to hint that he should call her/them. But he does call, does not he? he calls almost (and I actually mean almost) daily apart from days when we have really horrible fights or when he actually is busy..
and why should i feel accused? I understand..isnt it, that it is difficult and still she may be handling it better than me..
to top it all...i am this weirdo , if left to myself i would not tell half of things happening to anyone ANYONE until i feel like it..and the time may come after 2 min or 2 months or never come at all..
Sometimes I feel trapped
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
books
11:10 AM 9/10/2007
i love books... I can sit for hours in books stores which allow reading without you having to buy( or they think that people will be decent enuf to buy something after they have spent so many hours sitting in the AC and devouring books but people like me do not get the hint or manage very well to ignore the hint altogether and shamelessly keep on going there without buying much..)
In US i used to go and sit in Barns and Nobles or Borders and finished quite aa few books and did not buy a single thing..(once had cheese cake and coffee though) and i keep on wondering why i did not find about these stores earlier..
whenever i go to such book stores i go maad, i start behaving like a kid who has been offered so many candies and treats that he can not decide which one to pick...i take a book start reading it and glancing over the shelves every now and then..whenever i come across interesting title, i pick that up, without leaving the book i am already reading and browse thru it also..this happens every 10 min at least…yesdterday when i had gone i keep on wondering why can not i just stick with the one i have started reading till end and then take something new...but i can not..sigh.. i just wish i could smuggle in all the titles. that way i'll at least have the faith that i can browse as and when i want..
(that day i had An Equal Music in my hand and I read few pages of Diary of a Maidservant, glanced at some Amitav Ghosh's works, held Golden Gate and wondered if I would ever buy it in original version)
i love books... I can sit for hours in books stores which allow reading without you having to buy( or they think that people will be decent enuf to buy something after they have spent so many hours sitting in the AC and devouring books but people like me do not get the hint or manage very well to ignore the hint altogether and shamelessly keep on going there without buying much..)
In US i used to go and sit in Barns and Nobles or Borders and finished quite aa few books and did not buy a single thing..(once had cheese cake and coffee though) and i keep on wondering why i did not find about these stores earlier..
whenever i go to such book stores i go maad, i start behaving like a kid who has been offered so many candies and treats that he can not decide which one to pick...i take a book start reading it and glancing over the shelves every now and then..whenever i come across interesting title, i pick that up, without leaving the book i am already reading and browse thru it also..this happens every 10 min at least…yesdterday when i had gone i keep on wondering why can not i just stick with the one i have started reading till end and then take something new...but i can not..sigh.. i just wish i could smuggle in all the titles. that way i'll at least have the faith that i can browse as and when i want..
(that day i had An Equal Music in my hand and I read few pages of Diary of a Maidservant, glanced at some Amitav Ghosh's works, held Golden Gate and wondered if I would ever buy it in original version)
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